I recently read a post on LinkedIn by business coach LaVale Reavis and she shared how her clients often share what they “should” do. I know I have said it to myself numerous times and I am sure I have said it to clients. Then a few days later I listened to a podcast, by Kelly Mobeck, on the same topic.
So, my question to you is… are you “shoulding yourself” and what would happen if you shifted from I should to I CAN? You might ask what does that mean exactly?
In the post on LinkedIn the coach shared how “SHOULD = SHAME” and “SHAME IS NOT MOTIVATING.” Kind of like when we say we should get rid of clothes because they don’t fit. Instead, we hang onto the clothes that don’t fit and we tell ourselves it’s motivation to lose weight. Only when we see the clothes hanging in the closet it becomes a reminder that we haven’t lost the weight and the negative self talk begins.
So I ask you… are you “shoulding” yourself? I definitely had to take a step back and honestly…I had an AHA moment and wondered how I could make a small shift from “shoulding myself” to using the words “I can.”
I wondered if I shifted and used the words “I can” would I feel empowered? I also wondered if this same shift could be applied to a wardrobe or confidence?
What if instead of “shoulding yourself” and saying I should…
- lose weight
- go exercise
- hang onto these clothes in case I lose weight
You said I CAN…
- let go of these pieces
- empower another woman with this outfit
- find a new piece I feel confident in
- make time for myself
What would happen? Would you feel lighter? Would you feel liberated? I tried it and it worked! Instead of saying I should go workout, at the crack of dawn, which is not my jam. LOL! I said I am happy and grateful that I CAN workout. You know what? When I woke up this morning, at the crack of dawn, I said those words to myself and I went to work out. It was nice and I felt empowered and accomplished as I left the gym.
Are you ready to shift and say I CAN? Need help? Feel free to reach out. I am here for you.